Spring Breaker :)

So now its Spring Break, and since that monday night, i dont know whats going to change and whats not. But i mostly do know is that its not my life thats going to change really, its my friends'. I was a good friend that night, and i did find help in unexpected (sort of) places, but it didnt really get me anywhere that i can see. So i know that if i want a change in my life, i have to take it in my own hands to make a hange. But then begs the question: What would i do differently? I dont have a bad life; i have a good family, friends who support me (most of the time:)), things that i love to do, and plans ahead of me, such as: learning a new language, and going on a vacation in two days to the beach. My outlook on life for right now is to focus on the small things. I like to think of little things that make me happy instead of looking at the big semi-happy photo. Maybe it's just me, or maybe there really is nothing big to write about. Don't get me wrong or anything; i'm not depressed, and i do have things to look forward to. Sometimes they kind of blur though, because i dont know where or how to look. But i do know that i have to keep moving forward no matter what, and i cant look over my shoulder constantly. So what i am planning on doing is maybe setting goal for my vacation; something small to look forward to. I've given this piece of advice to my friends and found that when you look forward to the smaller things, the bigger things become more and more transparent. So im planning to start that new language, run along the beach every other day!, and meet at least one new person. I know its sounds weird because you usually don't plan out these things, they just happen. But i like to get some idea of what i want to do. Oh, and a tan :)
For a while now, to be honest, i have been really missing where I used to live...i look at pictures of all my friends at some basketball game, and i think for a second where i would be standing if i were still there. I do like it here, and its a great town, and this is my life, but i always will wonder what kind of a life i would have if i ever went back. Sometimes i bring it up, but i dont know if we would actually go back there. But see this-this is looking over my shoulder, and sometimes i cant help doing it.
So I'm just going to be open next week to anything tha may come my way, and anyone who's reading this should too!! And feel free to follow my blog!
Have a good spring break to everyone,
Hannah :)

This is just to say...

Today I learned that no matter how many romantic dramas/comedies one watches, they never get old. Ever. I re-watched the Lucky One for the 2nd time, and liked it even better the second. Some people may argue that the plot lacks a point, but i think Nicholas Sparks books and movies teach many important things about life. Yes, this may sound very cheesy, but i think that the way the characters are portrayed in the lucky one is what makes them so perfect. Just like in Dear John (which i have written about because of darling Savannah), the two men are soldiers in the US army. I think that all soldiers are amazing, not because of their looks (although in the movies, Channing Tatum, and Zac Efron NAIL it but not the point :)) but because of their dedication and loyalty to their country. Living in Israel, going to the army is such a natural subject to talk about, no one shies away from the question. Here, it is mandatory, and up until a certain point i didnt know how i felt about that. I still dont know how i feel about it. I know that war is dangerous, and every soldier that comes on the train makes me feel even safer. That's probably why in both movies, the people fall for the soldiers; because these people have amazing characteristics and qualities. Every day they are at war, they put their life at risk so that we can have our shots at living-excuse the pun-Not only are they brave, but they re dependable, trustworthy, clever, independant, and able to keep a clear head during the most dire of situations. I personally think that if asked that question who is a real man, i think it is a guy who has participated in some form of an army. Because being in the army really makes you appreciate everything you have, and the knowledge that nothing can be taken for granted. I think it is one of the most brave things men or women can do, and i know this is going to sound weird, but without a doubt, i want to eventually marry someone who was in the army. Basically, i just think it is an amazing and courageous thing that one can do. Maybe im too hopped up on Nicholas Sparks books, but that's what i think.
Anyways, it's 1 in the morning now, and i think im going to go to sleep, because tomorrow i cannot let myself spend another day in bed. Not that i dont love days like these, but i need to actually go outside and create my own story, not just follow stories from Dear John, The Lucky One, Safe Haven, etc. However amazing and wonderful these movies may be.
Thats it for today:) have an amazing spring break!

In the middle of the night

There are nights that are just overwhelming. Like tonight. So i'm sitting at my laptop on this morning at 4:10, and thinking about how this night was not like any other. I had to step up in a very difficult situation (let me just say no one else was "available" to make decisions) and i helped in ways that i feel had i not, everyone would still be back there. After tonight, i learned that i really do have my friends backs, and iim not saying this to be egoistic or anything, promise. I just dont know how many people would sneak out of their house at 3:30 in the morning to give their friend a phone, clothes, and other toiletries. My reasons? i really dont know, and i guess thats what scares me. Did i do this to save my friend? or because i didnt want her to do what she was doing? because i didnt think it was right. And i know, in the end, that was what she wanted me to do, but it took so much willpower to actually go through with everything. And now i dont know where i stand-with her, with the guy who is trusting me with a big secret, or with anyone else who was with me that night. All i know is, no one can know about it. Because if anyone does, alot of people's reputations are going to be seriously damaged.
I did take control of the situation, and i did feel people thinking they could rely on me, and i do like that feeling. but why do i feel like i cant find the right reason for doing what i did?
Anyways, the world is funny that way. Some continents move around constantly, never satisfied, while other remain solid. I think people are like that in a way. Some people dont take moving on well, some find it easy. I dont know which group i fall into, but i do know that i want to cover some more firsts in order to find out :)
Goodnight (or should i say Good Morning?!)
Hannah :)

Dear John -.-

Ok. So i just finished watching Dear John, and i thought it was very good- up until the part where i completely wanted to slap this girl Savannah, for breaking John's amazing heart :) So this Savannah bitch "waits" for him, but just cracks and leaves him for someone she will NEVER love as much!?! this is obvious to everyone in the book,especially Tim, her lame husband, who simply sttes it like it is: "she never looks at me the way she looks at you. and she still loves you. I wish i could change that but i cant"
Basically, Savannah just screwed up her life. Majorly. Honestly, there are going to be people (and i thought of this as well), who will say that she did the right thing by marrying Tim and dedicating-SACRIFICING even-her life for theirs. But i completely disagree with her choice. If there is any freaking thing a Nicholas Sparks book has ever taught me, its not to give up on the ones you love most. In every story, no matter how hard it is, the two characters push through all the difficulties, and see through them. And the fact remains that Savannah couldn't wait for him. Savannah couldn't wait for a guy who every single day, puts his life at risk for his country, and so she herself can be safe. But apparently, that doesnt really matter.
I know enough about cancer to know that when someone is diagnosed with Stage 4 Lymnphoma, there is not much else that is left but a certain amount of time, depending on the treatment type. So naturually, John sells his fathers whole collection, the only thing that he has left of his father that they both once loved, and he sells it. Why? in order to make Savannah happy, if only for a while. Which shows the kind of love and sacrifice John makes for a girl that couldnt even bring herself to call him on the phone to tell him she was leaving him. Its like a bruno mars song all over again. Also, i would love to know how old Tim is, because not to be picky about age, but im willing to bet there is at least 25 years there. soo....
I just think that to conclude, I did not like Savannah's character at all. She couldnt wait for the man who was the love of her life, and she sacrificed the amazing life she could've had with him. Which is amazingly honorable, dont get me wrong. The kind of selflessness that takes is unbeilevable. And yet, ultimately pointless.
Because she doesnt, and will never, love Tim in that way, as she says herself "what was i supposed to do? I didnt have a choice, Tim needed my help.. they both did"
But she wasnt thinking of what she wanted, and in the end, your own happiness is key in your life. Plus not too mention, she basically ripped out John's heart in the middle of when he was at war. Savannah gave up. She just didnt wait, and that is unforgivable. And after she sent that letter, i found myself not being able to even look at her without wanting to punch her. The best part was when she says to john "So, ill see you around?" just like it was 4 years ago. That basically shows that she is not over him, not by a mile. When he doesnt, and cant bring himself to repeat the phrase, i was realieved he didnt try to pretend like everything was ok. Savannah, at this, begins to cry, because she realized what she lost. That that kind of loss is absolutely impossible to undo, and she must live with her colossal mistake.
All in all, John came out the hero, and Savannah let life control her, a characteristic that led her to where she is at the end of the movie.