There are nights that are just overwhelming. Like tonight. So i'm sitting at my laptop on this morning at 4:10, and thinking about how this night was not like any other. I had to step up in a very difficult situation (let me just say no one else was "available" to make decisions) and i helped in ways that i feel had i not, everyone would still be back there. After tonight, i learned that i really do have my friends backs, and iim not saying this to be egoistic or anything, promise. I just dont know how many people would sneak out of their house at 3:30 in the morning to give their friend a phone, clothes, and other toiletries. My reasons? i really dont know, and i guess thats what scares me. Did i do this to save my friend? or because i didnt want her to do what she was doing? because i didnt think it was right. And i know, in the end, that was what she wanted me to do, but it took so much willpower to actually go through with everything. And now i dont know where i stand-with her, with the guy who is trusting me with a big secret, or with anyone else who was with me that night. All i know is, no one can know about it. Because if anyone does, alot of people's reputations are going to be seriously damaged.
I did take control of the situation, and i did feel people thinking they could rely on me, and i do like that feeling. but why do i feel like i cant find the right reason for doing what i did?
Anyways, the world is funny that way. Some continents move around constantly, never satisfied, while other remain solid. I think people are like that in a way. Some people dont take moving on well, some find it easy. I dont know which group i fall into, but i do know that i want to cover some more firsts in order to find out :)
Goodnight (or should i say Good Morning?!)
Hannah :)
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