SCHOOL TOMORROW

So, Tuesday is the big day...my birthday?!? Yes. But no, it's the first day of school. I've been preparing myself basically all summer and raising my confidence level to walk in the hallways. Ya, it sounds weird. But when you have anxiety issues, it kind of works beautifully. See, I used to be THAT girl. The one who couldn't stand up for herself, instead apologizing repeatedly for things that weren't even her fault. I don't even know when or how that all changed, but I do know that I would never let that happen the way I am now. I love my friends, and my family, and I would take a bullet for them, but I've also been burned in friendships. ALOT. Either I end up caring too much, or too little, and sometimes, you just can't win.
But this is another chance. When i walk into that building, no one knows the China-born Israeli American. So I have to make an impressionable impression. The one thing i'm happy about is that it won't be my first time walking into an unfamiliar room. 2 years ago, I took a class at Smith College, and knew no one. It was hard, but i taught myself to just live in the moment with these girls, and it worked. I ended up with 2 lifelong friends, and a couple quarter friends (people who will be there for you 15% of the time)
And this year, I took a summer course at Putney. To be honest, the first week was hell. I asked my parents if I could just stop going altogether, and complained about the people and the customs. But then, as i stayed more and more and gathered more and more friends, I began to slowly love it there. And i walked out of it with 2 really good friends, and one of my best guy friends. So I know i'm okay with new people...after all, if i can't do that, i might as well just throw in the towel now.
So there will definately be alot of challenges about this year-and i'm anticipating only some of them, but the best I can do now is just live in the moment, and handle it when it comes to me. I'll take it day by day, week by week, moment by moment.
And hey, if the odds aren't ever in my favor, at least Catching Fire comes out soon!
LOL